Teacher's Nightmare

As a kid going on field trips were always the highlight of going to school because it was a time to relax from the normal school schedule and hang out with friends. Now, as a teacher, field trips have become one of my worst nightmares...at least it is with this fourth grade class. This past week we a crazy one: training on Monday, student eye exams on Tuesday, early dismissal on Wednesday, and then a field trip to the Museum of Natural Science on Thursday (my third time there).

Anyway, to put it quite simply it was embarrassing to be on the trip with these kids. They were unable to listen to the people at the museum and would wander off and try to do their own thing. The poor lady at the end of the tour looked to me and said, "Thank you for being here. If you weren't here I'm not sure what I would've done." I'm used to getting this kind of behavior from them so I've learned to be very firm with them but I'm pretty sure that these volunteers at the museum have very little contact with kids from this background. One of the groups had this lady that looked like she was in her 70s...she could barely walk up the stairs without getting out of breathe, there was no way those boys were going to wait around and listen to her. We were only at the museum for two hours but all of us teachers were more than ready to leave because it was exhausting keeping them on track. The rest of the day was a joke because the kids didn't want to learn and we didn't feel like forcing anything anymore.

Besides that the kids have been pretty good. I don't know what it is with these group of kids but the boys love giving us hugs. I'm not a hug person at all and they're at an awkward height right now so the situation is slightly uncomfortable. lol They also have this weird thing where they call us mama so instead of calling me Ms. Wu they'll call me their mama Wu...which is weird but whatever, I just ignore it and move on. I've also noticed that quite of a few of the kids in tutoring don't actually need the tutoring, they just need to learn to focus long enough on a standardized test to do well. I think that it's a combination of the lack of ability to focus and the fact that they don't care that causes them to perform poorly on a test that they could do well in. I'm still in the process of trying to figure out how to work on that part during the tutoring time.

Unto His Glory in Christ

Romans 8:29-30 For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified.

1 Peter 5:10 After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.

These two verses have been on my mind since Sunday after they were mentioned in the message so I figured that I'd just share a little of what's been on my mind.. I remember getting excited when the brother shared this verse because we had memorized it and I was able to recite the verse without having to turn to it. haha Sometimes I wonder if I actually remember any of the verses we memorize and it was the Lord's way of showing me that having His word in memory truly is a precious thing. 

The idea of God's glory is something I've been hearing a lot recently and it has caused me to reflect upon what it means to see God's glory and to be brought into His glory. For some reason I have always thought of it as some high spiritual doctrine that was too hard for me to grasp but I have come to understand that although it may be something I am not yet able to fully grasp, I am able to get a glimpse of what it means to live in His glory.

I've come to realize that glory is simply the manifestation of the nature of God. Wherever the presence of God is able to dwell, there His glory can be found. As the people of God we should long after His presence daily so that we can continuously live in His glory. Romans tells us that we have been predestined for His glory but 1 Peter tells us that we have also been predestined for affliction. Why is it that we must suffer in order to be brought into His glory? It is because we are unable to see His glory when our old self is still present. The brother used an interesting example that I'd like to share. He shared about the transformation of the caterpillar into a butterfly. You can throw a caterpillar into the air and hope that it will remain there but we all know that it will fall. Even if you pick it up and throw it higher into the air, it will not suddenly become a butterfly and remain in the air. In order for that caterpillar to fly it must first die and a new life must arise; the life of the butterfly. It is the same for us. We can hope to live in glory but when our old life is still alive we will only fall. It is only through the lessons of the cross and the afflictions that we go through that our old life can die and our new life can arise, that is why we must be predestined for affliction. Without affliction we will not come to see that our old life must die. Every affliction comes with a purpose and they are all hand-picked and appointed by God. 

This is a comfort to me because I know that no suffering can enter my life without first receiving the approval of God. When we choose to reject the lessons of affliction we are actually missing out on the opportunity to fulfill the purpose of that affliction in our life. When we are able to accept the lessons God teaches us through affliction, the earthen vessel that we live in can be broken and the inner man can be lived out. I feel that this is something we all know but I have to admit that each time affliction arises my outer man seems to win. May we allow God to sift and shake us so that we may become more rooted in Him and be brought into His glory. At the same time we do praise our Lord because He has already promised that He will perfect, confirm, strengthen, and establish us in His glory, we need only to submit ourselves before Him. 

Outer Rice Loop.

This was supposed to get posted yesterday but I never got around to finishing it up. 

Fall weather has finally arrived in Houston which means that walking around outside at 3 in the afternoon isn't too unbearable. With the cooling of the weather I also decided to venture out running again but this time around Rice. I was worried about how long I would last since I haven't ran in more than a month but I managed to do 6 miles. I was surprised that I wasn't feeling tired but decided to stop because I was getting a blister on my foot and I'm still trying to take it easy with my bad knees.

Back in college I would always go running whenever I felt stressed because it allowed me to clear my head and I've had quite a bit on my mind this week so being able to run this morning was refreshing. The YES group at HCA has a group of people that run each Saturday morning around Rice and I haven't been going because of the weather. I told myself last night that I'd see how I was feeling this morning before deciding if I'd go running. Anyway, I woke up this morning and decided to go but I wasn't able to make it in time to meet up with YES runners so I ran on my own. Plus, I didn't want to risk embarrassing myself if I couldn't make it around the loop. It was interesting because each time I thought about slowing down I ran into people that I knew and it helped to keep me going. Even though there were many people running on the trail it was when I ran into people I knew that I became encouraged. Part of it was because I didn't want them to think I was lazy but at the same time it was nice to see a familiar face and exchange words of encouragement. This got me thinking about how thankful I am to have brothers and sisters running this race with me. Sometimes I do feel that I am on this journey alone, especially being here in a foreign environment with people I am not yet familiar with, and even though I'm surrounded by people of this world they are unable to encourage me. Yet, right when I feel that I am ready to stop, the Lord places people and events in my life to show me that I'm not alone.

Hello sweaty me

I'll end this post with a verse that struck me from Isaiah 49, the chapter we studied this past Friday at Bible study: 

"I will make all My mountains a road,
And My highways will be raised up."

Our God is all powerful and He is the sovereign one. He is able to make the highest mountains in our lives into flat roads and He is able to bring our lives into a higher way when we feel low. Knowing this, we should shout for joy and rejoice all our days because we do not live this life alone but we have Christ as our great comforter through all afflictions. 

Lessons learned these past few weeks.

Sorry I realize that it has been a while since I last wrote a post, each day just goes by so quickly now that it is hard to find time to sit down and attempt to put together some coherent thoughts. School is in full swing now and I'm enjoying it despite the many ups and downs that occur throughout the day. Some days the kids are wonderful and we get through everything and some days I feel like I spend the whole time just getting them to sit down and not mess around with each other. Still, I praise the Lord for putting me in this situation because He is continuing to show me how much I am like these 8/9 year olds.

There is this one particular boy that stands out because he reminds me so much of myself, not in the academic way but in my spiritual walk. On Wednesday of last week he was having a particularly bad day and just did not want to come to class. He hadn't behaved the previous day (Tuesday) so his parents got a phone call from the teacher and I guess that he had gotten grounded. Anyway, he was super grumpy and kept saying he didn't want to come and that he didn't need to extra help because he already knew everything. He believed that he was one of the smartest kids in the class. The truth is, he is smart and he is able to understand more than some of the other kids I work with but he doesn't actually understand everything. With this attitude of "I already know" he is preventing himself from learning the things he doesn't know. I feel that that is often my attitude in my spiritual walk, I feel like I already know so much and I've become proud of my head knowledge that I don't allow the Lord to make them a reality in my life. Being blessed with the environment I've grown up with it is easy to think that we are "experienced" and "smart" Christians, that we don't feel like we need to learn anything else when that's actually far from the truth. 

The other thing I've seen in this kids is their inability to sit and listen. Again, that reminds me of myself before the Lord. How difficult it can be sometimes to sit before the Lord and listen, especially in the morning. Sometimes I sit down, open the Bible, and quickly find myself thinking about other things. I may be seated physically but mentally I have become unfocused, preventing the Lord to reveal anything to me. The boy that I was just talking about, with the bad day on Wednesday, came back on Thursday completely different. He was very attentive and finished everything I assigned him. At the end of the hour he said something that made me laugh. He said, "You know, when I'm good the time goes by so much faster." How true it is that when we are able to quiet ourselves before the Lord and open ourselves up to Him the time seems to fly by. When we struggle with Him minutes feel like hours and we still aren't able to gain anything. I thank the Lord that He continues to show me my many impurities and pray for a pliable heart before Him each and every day. 

On a side note, I've realized the power of prayer each and every morning. Even though the days may not go as smoothly as I'd like, but when I am able to start off my day by placing it in His hands, even when it is a rough day I am still at peace before Him because I know He is in control. 

Listening.

Praise the Lord I finally have internet! It was hard not being to have access to the internet all week but I made it. My first week of school went well and I'm excited to start working with them on a more individual level. I actually got the opportunity take over the class for the bit and go over their math homework yesterday as the teacher was giving out reading tests. What did I learn from the experience? I need a better idea of what 2nd/3rd graders understand. haha I tried to add a little complexity to some of the problems...different ways to look at it or other ways to solve it...and the teacher had to tell me to move on because it was too hard for them. Oh well, at least I got the experience of being in front of the classroom on my own.

Last night at Bible Study we studied Isaiah 46 and as I was mediating on this chapter I noticed that the Lord says a phrase twice, "Listen to me". This phrase caught my attention because it is something I've noticed while being in the classrooms this week. It doesn't matter how young or old we are, we all have a hard time listening. Since it was the first week the teacher spent a lot of time going over procedures and emphasizing the importance of following directions. It was amazing to see how we could go over each direction step by step, have them repeat it, and still have half the class mess up. The teacher was usually clear about what she expected at each step and yet they had such a hard time following the most simple directions.

Watching them reminded me of myself before the Lord. It's very easy to say that we need to listen to the Lord yet when it comes to practice it is so difficult. The Lord always gives us very clear and simple directions and yet we have a hard time following them. We are a stubborn-minded people and so often we think that we only need a listen to a part of the directions or that we know a better way to do things so we do as we like. In the end though the kids get in trouble and we also find ourselves in situations that are easily avoidable if we just listen and obey.

The Lord has already promised that He will carry us if only we would choose to listen to Him. Whenever we try to carrying our own burdens we find ourselves quickly weighed down but as soon as we allow Him to carry us we are set free. Thank the Lord that our God is so patient and loving towards us, even when we fail to follow His directions He corrects us through His love. May we all have a listening ear and an obediant heart before the Lord.