Lessons learned these past few weeks.

Sorry I realize that it has been a while since I last wrote a post, each day just goes by so quickly now that it is hard to find time to sit down and attempt to put together some coherent thoughts. School is in full swing now and I'm enjoying it despite the many ups and downs that occur throughout the day. Some days the kids are wonderful and we get through everything and some days I feel like I spend the whole time just getting them to sit down and not mess around with each other. Still, I praise the Lord for putting me in this situation because He is continuing to show me how much I am like these 8/9 year olds.

There is this one particular boy that stands out because he reminds me so much of myself, not in the academic way but in my spiritual walk. On Wednesday of last week he was having a particularly bad day and just did not want to come to class. He hadn't behaved the previous day (Tuesday) so his parents got a phone call from the teacher and I guess that he had gotten grounded. Anyway, he was super grumpy and kept saying he didn't want to come and that he didn't need to extra help because he already knew everything. He believed that he was one of the smartest kids in the class. The truth is, he is smart and he is able to understand more than some of the other kids I work with but he doesn't actually understand everything. With this attitude of "I already know" he is preventing himself from learning the things he doesn't know. I feel that that is often my attitude in my spiritual walk, I feel like I already know so much and I've become proud of my head knowledge that I don't allow the Lord to make them a reality in my life. Being blessed with the environment I've grown up with it is easy to think that we are "experienced" and "smart" Christians, that we don't feel like we need to learn anything else when that's actually far from the truth. 

The other thing I've seen in this kids is their inability to sit and listen. Again, that reminds me of myself before the Lord. How difficult it can be sometimes to sit before the Lord and listen, especially in the morning. Sometimes I sit down, open the Bible, and quickly find myself thinking about other things. I may be seated physically but mentally I have become unfocused, preventing the Lord to reveal anything to me. The boy that I was just talking about, with the bad day on Wednesday, came back on Thursday completely different. He was very attentive and finished everything I assigned him. At the end of the hour he said something that made me laugh. He said, "You know, when I'm good the time goes by so much faster." How true it is that when we are able to quiet ourselves before the Lord and open ourselves up to Him the time seems to fly by. When we struggle with Him minutes feel like hours and we still aren't able to gain anything. I thank the Lord that He continues to show me my many impurities and pray for a pliable heart before Him each and every day. 

On a side note, I've realized the power of prayer each and every morning. Even though the days may not go as smoothly as I'd like, but when I am able to start off my day by placing it in His hands, even when it is a rough day I am still at peace before Him because I know He is in control.