The first couple days coming back from home were tough. I missed the comfort of home...with easy access to food...which may or may not have a been a good thing. I missed family. I missed friends. I even missed the cool weather even though it was gloomy. Then I started to research Texas teaching certification requirements and became overwhelmed by all the options and programs. This led me to think about the possibility that I may not return to Seattle after this year and it added to my depression. Combined with the craziness of students after a couple days of break I found myself irritated and annoyed by almost everything and everyone. Basically...like I said...it was tough.
But the Lord knows what He's doing and His timing is perfect. Isaiah 55 spoke to me this week as I prepared for Bible study and the sharings of brothers and sisters were also of great encouragement. A few points:
Seek the Lord while He may be found; Call upon Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him return to the Lord, and He will have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,"declares the Lord. vs 6-8
The Lord is never far and He can always be found but too often I feel that He is nowhere to be found because I am the one that has wandered from my Lord. When things happen in my life that I don't understand I get upset because it makes my life difficult. What I forget is that He doesn't work according to my ways, nor does He think how I think. Actually, I should be thankful that that's the case because we'd all be in trouble if He did things my way. Auntie Catherine shared about how she has been bringing her to dad to rehab and many times the exercises the therapist ask her dad to perform seem silly. It is hard to see the purpose of repeating the same motion time and time again. But, these therapists have a goal in mind and they know that what seems like useless movements right now are actually small steps in training the muscles so that they can carry out their intended function later on. I get frustrated sometimes because I feel that the Lord is allowing the same things to happen time and time again. What I don't see is that this constant repetition is to strengthen my spiritual muscles so that they can function correctly.
"For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return there without watering the earth and making it bear and sprout, and furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater; So will My word be which goes forth from My mouth; It will not return to Me empty, Without accomplishing what I desire, And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it. vs 10-11
Too often I keep my eyes focused on myself...I feel that I'm not growing, or I see that I still struggle with the same things...and I get frustrated and disheartened. Praise the Lord for the reminder that He doesn't make promises that He can't keep. Rain gives immediate nourishment to plants while snow appears to kills plants. Over time though snow melts and turns into water which can then nourish plants. I want to see immediate results but sometimes God allows snow to fall into my life because it is a growth that can only be seen over time. I do not need to become frustrated because whether it is now or later, rain and snow will both cause the seed to bear and sprout.
